Finding Unity Amid Differences

Saw this article at Desiring God this morning and thought I really needed to hear it. No- I’m not a pastor (LOL) but I think the same exact principles can apply to each of us.

what God is teaching me

Lately, I am sure it seems as though all I talk about is pregnancy- ranging from my discomforts to my cravings to the excitement of it all.

I was thinking and I realized- my relationship with God has been, um, dry? Does that make sense? I have recently lost my expectancy of Him to move in my life. I have been self-reliant and have lost sight of my need to utterly depend upon Him and His grace. My prayer life has gone to the pits and I have seen each of these things affect my heart and my marriage and my role as a mother. In the past month or so, I have:

• seen my children as burdens
• felt sorry for myself
• abhorred service to my husband
• questioned where God has placed us in this season
• neglected time in the Word
• look to man’s wisdom as opposed to God’s
• and so much more…

And so I thought to myself today:

Is God teaching me anything right now?

The longer I thought about it, the question became:

What has God taught me that has actually “stuck”?

I think God is always teaching me. Problem is, sometimes I heed it and sometimes I don’t. And what I see in myself lately is that I am always “looking forward“- and that is what I think part of the problem is in my heart has been for a while now. I tell myself: I will be more content when…

• the baby is here
• we are out of debt
• David is finally pastoring, which I know is the passion of his heart!
• my kids are older and more obedient
• we have our own home

The truth of the matter is: I am not guaranteed any of those things! We have no promise of any future event ever coming to fruition. We only have this: now. I find myself constantly tempted to live from one exciting event in my life until the next. It is so easy for me to live from one date night to the next, from one vacation to the next, from one pizza to the next (yes, I love pizza!!!). And that is so not fruitful living. It has to grieve Jesus so to see one of His children live so outside of what His death sought to gloriously achieve- an abundant life!

I am kinda just throwing some thoughts out here. This is what I working on  right now. It is certainly nothing that I mean to be eloquent. I would surely covet your prayers as we continue to transition into where we feel called right now and what we feel God is leading us to do during this season of our lives.

The Peasant Princess

David and I just finished up a sermon series in the Song of Songs. Or Song of Solomon, whichever you prefer=) It was entitled The Peasant Princess and it truly transformed our marriage. We have laughed at silly memories, we (okay, maybe I) have cried over past mistakes. David was probably just saddened. But more than anything, we have seen God expose major areas of sin in both our hearts (mostly selfishness) and have been challenged and changed. We praise God for this series. It is honest, very frank, but so so worth it. I encourage each of you to check it out!

random Bible reflections…

from the last person who should attempt exposition on the face of this earth:

I am drawing my time in Acts to a close. I have a few chapters left. A couple days ago, however, I got antsy after I finished up there and moved into Titus, which I read in its entirety, that same afternoon.

God’s word is amazing. It breathes new life into me every time I open its pages (provided my heart isn’t clouded by unconfessed sin, which has been known to happen). I was floored by Titus and I couldn’t wait to tell David what I am sure I had read, but had never retained, in the past.

In the past if you had asked me what I remembered most about Titus from its 3 small chapters, my answer would have, no doubt, been “the duty of everyone in the church- older women, younger women, older men, younger men, and so forth…” I really believe I have been missing out on the heart of what Paul is saying to Titus all along.

3 times in chapter two Paul points to the absolute necessity of the believer to make the Gospel appealing to non-believers:

In regard to the older women teaching the younger women:

“to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored.” (2:5)

older men to younger men:

“in all things show yourself to be an example of good deeds, with purity in doctrine, dignified, sound in speech which is beyond reproach, so that the opponent will be put to shame, having nothing bad to say about us.” (2:7-8)

to bondslaves:

“not pilfering, but showing all good faith so that they will adorn the doctrine of God our Savior in every respect.” (2:10)

John Macarthur says (and if you haven’t figured it out by now, he wrote the study section of my Bible) in response to these three portions of scripture:

• When Christians claim to believe God’s word but do not obey it, the Word is dishonored. Many have mocked God and his truth because of the sinful behavior of those who claim to be Christians
• …the purpose of godly living is to silence the opponents of Christianity and the gospel and make the power of Christ believable
• …the supreme purpose of a virtuous life is to make attractive the teaching that God saves sinners

So my question to myself since then has been : am I making the gospel attractive? All too often, I’m not. And I aware and working on it. I am allowing my inconveniences and frustrations in life to become an excuse to act however I choose.

Paul says repeatedly that he is “in chains to the gospel…” or “a slave to it…” and I want to be no different. As an imagebearer of God (Genesis tells me I can say that) and a saint (Philippians says I can say that), I want to feel compelled to make the gospel attractive. Not only when I feel like it. But when I don’t.

Any thoughts?

I am headed to Philippians now. I will studying the book alongside listening to a sermon series entitled The Rebel’s Guide To Joy by Mark Driscoll. I enjoy listening to Mark Driscoll. I know a lot of you have probably realized that by now. Please note, I know Jesus is the best teacher. I listen to other pastors. But next to my own husband, Driscoll is my favorite. He is a little brash and upfront, not everyone’s favorite, but he is sound and I totally dig his messages. I am looking forward to Philippians. I wish I had D.A. Carson’s commentary on it as well, but I don’t, so I’ll get by=)

obedience reminder

As I was in prayer this morning (trying to stay awake) I asked the Lord for a heart of obedience. As I was meditating on what true obedience really means, I was reminded:

He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. Philippians 2:8

And I thought to myself: will I ever be called to be obedient to the point of death? Perhaps, but most likely not.

As a wretched sinner who finds it ever-so-difficult to be obedient to the Lord, I take refuge in this verse. It is another reminder that Christ never asks me to walk somewhere He never walked nor battle any temptation He never faced. He walked the path before me, and sinned not.

This is just the reminder I need to wage this war within myself yet another day.

great running song

It is so hard for me to find music that I enjoy running to. For David, it is easy: the faster the better. Fast isn’t exactly what makes a song great for running in my opinion. Sure- fast is great, but I need music that motivates me and gives me a reason to keep running. Lately, I have been choosing music that reminds me of my sheer nothingness without Jesus Christ. I love to run meditating on the work of Jesus on the cross and the hope that that gives us. Lately I have found myself praying often:

Thank you, Jesus, for dying on the cross, and for all that means!

Doesn’t it mean everything? I know I am guilty of making methods, issues, and other silly things more important than the Gospel… and shame on me! The atoning work of Christ on the cross should be what drives us, motivates us, dictates our lives! All the other things that I like to dwell on, think about, talk about, should come in a far and distant second place!

Here is my latest favorite running song:

Jesus, My Only Hope

I come into Your presence
With nothing in my hands
I only bring thanksgiving
For Jesus, God and Man
I cast myself on mercy
I cast myself on love
I trust Your gracious promise
To wash me with Your blood

I will not fear Your judgment
For me no wrath I dread
For it was spent on Jesus
Poured out upon His head
When Satan’s accusations
Make my poor heart afraid
I hear my King declaring
“Father, that debt is paid!”

Jesus my only hope
My only plea
My righteousness
My Great High Priest
Who intercedes for me
Before the throne
Jesus, I trust in You alone

Though I am poor and naked
Your prodigal come home
You place Your robe upon me
Your holiness alone
Though I be dry and barren
By grace this love springs forth
Love for You and Your Kingdom
Joy in Your glory, Lord

But far be it from me to boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, by which the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world. Galatians 6:14

some morning thoughts

I had been meaning to share this small devotion that I read a couple mornings ago, but other things got in my way. Better late than never!

“He was oppressed and He was afflicted, yet He opened not His mouth.” 

This verse, found in Isaiah, speaks truth into my heart- today and every day. I feel oppressed on a regular basis. I feel afflicted each and every day. Whether my afflictions are real or heightened (dramatically- as I often do) they are still there. Whether I feel afflicted by people or by my circumstances, Christ sets the perfect standard for how I am to respond- no matter what.

Truth is, we will be reviled. Sadly, our enemies are surrounding us. As long as the Lord tarries, we will face these oppressions (or whatever you choose to call them) every day. It was certainly a timely reminder for me to see the example that Jesus set- He opened not His mouth.

Sounds tough, eh? It is…and like everything else….it should remind us of our constant and dire need to each and every day be walking in the Spirit and allowing Him to be our guide.

And though it is a difficult task, we have another reminder:

“Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary afflictions are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all” 2 Cor. 4:16-17

seems to be the word of the day

anxiety, that is.

My dear friend, Kacie, had a wonderful post on anxiety yesterday. You can read it here.

Anyone who knows me knows that my biggest sin struggle is definitely anxiety. The word alone evokes feelings of disgust and dread from within me. Lately, I had begin to think that anxiety was becoming less and less of a struggle for me. Perhaps, as sanctification so does, I was slowly pulling away from the world and slowly becoming more like my Savior? Be that as it may, anxiety is something we are never completely free from until this life is over, I am sure of it! The Spirit made that ever-so-clear to me yesterday as I read Kacie’s post on the subject.

David and I are facing many tough decisions in our lives right now that would naturally make one anxious. And I realized- I’ve been giving in to it! Instead of turning my worry into prayer, I’ve been endlessly fretting and taking the burden upon myself, all the while completely overlooking that the burden is one that Jesus would gladly bear for me, and He could actually do something about…unlike myself.

Then this morning I found another excellent writing from Desiring God on this same topic. It is long, but worth the read. Click here to read it!

An excerpt (based on Matthew 6:24-34):

Everybody can see plainly that the main point of this text is that disciples of Jesus should not be anxious. Verse 25: “Do not be anxious about your life.” Verse 31: “Do not be anxious, saying , ‘What shall we eat?’” Verse 34: “Do not be anxious about tomorrow.” So one thing should ring in your ears when you leave this morning, namely, “Jesus does not want me to be anxious.”

But that is just the negative way of stating the main point of this passage. There is a positive way found in verse 33; namely, instead of being anxious, “Seek first God’s kingdom.” In other words when you think about your life or your food or your clothes or your spouse or your job or your mission, don’t fret about them. Instead make God the king in that affair and in that moment, and hand over the situation to his kingly power and do his righteous will with the confidence that he will work for you and meet all your needs. To seek the kingship of God first in every affair and every moment of life is a thrilling way to live. It’s full of freedom and peace and joy and adventure—and hardship; and it’s worth it all. If you believe in the kingship of your heavenly Father, you do not need to be anxious about anything.

If The Lord Had Not

It will probably become very apparent in the coming weeks that I am currently working through Beth Moore’s Stepping Up. It is fabulous! If you don’t know of the study, it is a journey through the 15 Psalms of Ascent and in the two weeks I have been in the study, I have learned so much!

Our studies this past week focused in on Psalms 122-124. I am starting to look at the Psalms like I never have before. I am now seeing a journey. A pilgrimage, if you will. I am seeing afresh a God who is ever-present, ever-loving, and always able to be trusted. Psalm 124 especially ministered to my heart this week.

¹ If the LORD had not been on our side—
let Israel say—

² If the LORD had not been on our side
when men attacked us,

³ then they would have swallowed us alive
in their burning anger against us.

⁴ Then the waters would have engulfed us;
the torrent would have swept over us;

⁵ the raging waters would have swept over us.

⁶ Praise the LORD,
who has not let us be ripped apart by their teeth.

⁷ We have escaped like a bird from the hunter’s net;
the net is torn, and we have escaped.

⁸ Our help is in the name of the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth.

Amen! Amen! Amen! We were encouraged this week to ask ourselves personally “if the Lord had not…” in our own lives. Do you ever think about what your life would be like today had God not rescued you? What did he rescue you from? I love to look at this in terms of God rescuing me from me!

I believe this is a crucial question for every believer to answer and even more imperative that they meditate on from time to time. My own testimony of what God rescued me from is enough to burst out in praise every single day!

I would be honored to share with each of you where I believe I would be today “if the Lord had not…“:

Before God rescued me from me, I was walking down a path that I had no idea at the time would have led to destruction. It seemed innocent enough. I didn’t have the looks to get attention from the people around me and, looking back now, I can see the beginning of a young woman who would have eventually done just about anything to make someone notice her- had the Lord not.

I look at the people who attended my high school. Given time, if the Lord had not rescued me, I believe with all my heart I would be embracing much of the same belief systems that many of them do today. I can easily see how I might have been engulfed in a sea of moral relativism, feminism, etc.

If the Lord had not, I can see myself married to a man who doesn’t die to himself daily and follow the Lord whole-heartedly. I am nearly brought to tears imagining what a marriage would even be were it not a holy and sacred covenant between my husband and myself that God had put His hand of blessing upon. The Lord rescued me and gave me a Godly husband who loves me, encourages me, challenges me, and helps me grow. Praise be to God for that alone!

What would my family look like? I have always desired to be a mother, but I shudder when I look at my precious children at the thought of their upbringing, were Jesus Christ not the center of that! It nearly brings me to tears to see other people’s children who are not being brought up in a home that loves the Lord. I get nauseous at the thought of that being true of my own children.

Lastly, had the Lord not rescued me, my life would be about me. Were I to tell you that I don’t wage a war against myself on a daily basis…I would be a liar. However, because Christ dwells in my heart and I try to live each day obedient to Him, my life is about Him, for Him, in order to bring glory to Him.

I am in awe today. Why, might you ask? How awesome is it that God saw fitting to choose, use, and grow lowly little me for His kingdom? WOW! I am completely and utterly unworthy, but that’s just even more the beautiful example of His grace. It is based upon nothing I do…and thank God for that!

So, what about you? I encourage you to ponder the question “if the Lord had not?” in your own life today. You will be glad you did and God will get the glory for it!

The perfect will of God

As believers, we are called- no, commanded- to seek God’s will for our lives. For some perhaps this comes easy. As for myself, you may as well call me Jacob because I often find myself wrestling with God. I like my way. My will. Of course I pray for God’s will to be done in my life, but I often have a difficult time putting it into practice. I am impatient. I dislike waiting. I think my way is best. But deep inside I know it’s not.

God has shown me time and time again that His way is best. His timing is the best timing. My recent wrestling match with God has been such a struggle that I pray on a daily basis “Lord, please work in spite of me.” I fear that God is going to give me my timing and my way and allow me to deal with the consequences of my sin. God forbid.

I would really covet your prayers during this time in my life as I am questioning God’s timing and really hurting inside. This area of my life has always been a struggle as it is something I am so passionate about. Thanks in advance.