Recently, a friend from high school emailed me to ask how I “do it” with 4 children under the age of 5. I was extremely humbled that she even thought of me to seek wisdom in the matter and then I laughed at the thought of sharing anything as I feel like the most imperfect, wretched mother out there! Never-the-less, I hope through doing this not to give any glory to me but to the great God who daily equips me to be the only Mommy to Noah, Sammy, Simon, and Kaed.
Dear (Friend),
You are too sweet! If you knew half of it- I have nothing together. I feel like the biggest absolute mess. But I love it and wouldn’t trade it for the world.
That is special- what you have with (daughter). Noah was 3 months old when I got pregnant with Sammy so Noah only had 11 months as an only child. If that doesn’t answer your question, yes, we want to have more kids. It is an issue of our conscience that God would have us to do nothing to prevent however many children He might bless us with. It is a personal decision and we by no means feel like it is right or best for everyone. We would never say that someone lacked faith or was sinning by using birth control. That being said, I enjoy being pregnant. I enjoy giving birth. And I enjoy having a newborn. Whenever I am not pregnant, I want to be pregnant. And when I am pregnant, I am beside myself blissful although my husband might not agree with that statement because I do get achy and tend to complain.
In order to “do it”, I constantly rely upon God’s grace to get me through each day. We have “order” as much a family this large can have order. I have learned to have a schedule, but it has to be flexible, or else I will become let down and discouraged easily. Life around here is crazy and it is NEVER quiet.
I would never say that it takes a certain woman to have this many kids. By all means, I wasn’t that woman. But- motherhood have been sanctifying for me. It has taught me to be selfless and to surrender a lot of control issues that I have. I have learned how frail and flawed I am. I have learned what a nasty person I am. More than anything, I have learned that I am NOT perfect. I am, in fact, the furthest thing from it.
I have learned to toss out every “big” issue that comes with mothering. I have learned that a Mom is not made by whether she breastfeeds or home schools or had a homebirth or feeds her baby organically. Just about every time that I thought my way was the best way to do a particular task when it came to mothering, God completely robbed me of it to teach me that a good mother is determined by how she trains the hearts of her children to love and obey God versus how that child was taught or fed or birthed or so forth.
I think it’s just important to be open to what God may have for you. Be obedient. Don’t fear what the world says about quality time for each child or money or how many children the average family should have. All those things have a way of falling into place. You are a great Mom. I can tell. Just focus on those things that are eternal. (Your daughter) will benefit more from that than anything else you can give her.
Thanks for emailing. I hope I was able to help at all. And I would be happy to answer any other questions you had!
